Margaret Trudeau and I have something in common. (Unfortunately, being rich and famous isn’t it…..and I’ve never hung out  with the Rolling Stones)

But seriously, the first thing that we share is that we both have bipolar disorder.  But more importantly, we also both agree on what bipolar disorder is.  It is an exaggeration of emotions.  But I would like to take that one step further.  It is an exaggeration of everything in one’s life.  That means it is an exaggeration of anger, sadness, despair, happiness, joy, euphoria, energy levels, fears, libido, self-esteem.  People who are bipolar generally have an “all or nothing” approach to life.  Either things are wonderful or they are the pits.

It is possible to get off this roller coaster and live on a merry-go-round instead and have a normal, happy, productive life.  No, I’m not going to tell you I don’t still yearn for those highs because they can be absolutely magnificent.  But I look to other places to get a natural adrenaline rush.  For me, that means going dancing, or even what I did this summer…….skydiving.  I still haven’t found anything that can mimic that high, but I can’t afford to go there again…….I have too many good things going for me now.  As Trudeau said, she finally chose health and so have I.

This illness can be managed effectively but it takes work.  A pill alone won’t cure it.  The cure for any illness, physical or mental, is 25% medication and 75% working on yourself and your issues.

And like I said, bipolar disorder is an exaggeration of emotions.  Learning to control one’s emotions is a skill that can be learned just like riding a bike, geography or compassion.  With enough practice, it gets easier.  It is like stopping a bad habit like smoking or biting your fingernails.  You have to replace it with something new.

I’m sure many people who get this illness, like me, are looking for inner peace.  I hated the person I had become but had no idea how to become someone I not only liked but loved.  Deepak Chopra says “dis-ease” is one not being at ease with oneself and that certainly was the case with me.

It took 14 years, 14 long years, after being initially diagnosed with depression to get this illness under control.  It meant getting out of an unhealthy relationship and learning what healthy relationships look like.  It meant putting my needs first.  It meant putting an end to my people pleasing ways.

There is always, always, always a reason for someone getting depressed.  If the reason is found out early on one can make changes in their life and hopefully stop it in its tracks.  Yes, chemicals do change in our brains when we get depressed but chemicals also change in our brains when we exercise, laugh, cry, have sex, sleep or eat.  The chemicals in our brains are always changing.  It is only when we are feeling down for a prolonged period of time that medication is in order.  If you are working through some kind of trauma like a death in the family or job loss then I believe talking about it is the first line of defense, not a pill.  It takes time to get over a major loss.  Being too quick to take medication will just delay the grieving process.

That being said, depression and bipolar disorder are way over diagnosed these days.  Everyone has bad days, weeks and even months.  It is okay to feel sad and blue once in a while.  It is only when these feelings interfere in your day-to-day living that you really are in need of medication.  And even then, it is imperative that you get some kind of psych-therapy in conjunction with taking a pill.

In the end, what all of us are looking for, mental illness or not, is a Home, a Job, and a Friend.

Lynn Rae

October 11, 2007